Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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