I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize