Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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