So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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