Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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