What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
