the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize