I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
