yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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