Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
