i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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