What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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