I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
