I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
