i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
