New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
