why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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