I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize