so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
farters have to be the big spoon...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
