I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
