Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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