Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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