i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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