so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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