He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
