I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
