I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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