you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
