so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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