He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
