how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I understand Curling. That high.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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