He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
