after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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