Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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