He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
