i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
