There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
