You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
