I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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