You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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