oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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