I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
