is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
