Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize