I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
