Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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