my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
