Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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