I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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