the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it's not cheating when I paid for it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
