He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
