Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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