Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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