I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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