If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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