Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
even my farts smell like vagina
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
