My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
