I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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