Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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