Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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