Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
