just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
