Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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