I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
