Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
