My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
