My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
