Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
