you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
