sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My feet surprised me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
