Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
