As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize