I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
