He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I looked at my own cervix.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
