we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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