I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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