Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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