Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize